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No one wants to date sad-sack, and no one wants to hear about your terrible past dating life the first time they talk to you.
We’re all internet dating here – it follows that we are all single and perhaps don’t want to be.
We know you’re trying to be “random” or “funny” with your ridiculous message about getting married / having babies / getting divorced / giraffes / or whatever other inappropriate thing you are messaging to dozens of people at once. It also doesn’t trick anyone (other than the slowest people on the internet) into thinking you wrote that totally nonsensical message just for us.
The beauty of internet dating is that we all get to specify what we want.
Respect that and don’t waste anyone’s time – including your own.
If you’re sending a message, the recipient already knows you’ve looked at their pictures and find them attractive.
So instead of stating the obvious (“you look like a small child and I enjoy sexing small children”), point to what it was that attracted you to their personality (or at least the fragment of their personality that they put on the internet).