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Then, think of something that is just a little bit harder than that, that you think you be able to do but aren’t sure.On a day when you are feeling somewhat brave, give it a try. Now this isn’t gonna be a tale about how I wanted it and it didn’t happen and then when I stopped wanting it, it did.Saying I wanted a boyfriend had a very clear underlying message- I wanted to be loved, desired, to feel good about myself, to have someone there to make me feel good about myself when I didn’t. Not surprisingly, the relationship didn’t last and it was only in the years after that I realized the reason why: I was looking outside myself for love and approval, a fatal misstep I see committed all the time.Did you do anything to psych yourself up beforehand? Did you have a strong motivation for doing the task, such as buying a desired item or some other gain?Think about what made these difficult situations possible, and try to replicate what you did. Parents – try to encourage your child to do these exercises.
Internal Versus External Locus of Control This handy dandy psychological concept refers to a very important theory.
The latter leaves you with a feeling of helplessness and high anxiety.
You become more resistant to trying new things because you don’t believe you have the right tools to deal with it should anything go wrong.
Skip the parts you don’t do well unless absolutely necessary, you get enough of that already. But only try new things that you think are within your ability zone.
This is important because you will start to internalize good messages about yourself and in time will be able to feel more confident about trying new things. That is, think of something you find difficult but can do.